Falling
by Lord HarleKin
Summary: AU Chichi blames Gohan for Goku's death, and kick him out of the house. What will Gohan do? What will Piccolo do? and how will Gohan grow?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: AU Chichi blames Gohan after the Cell Games and kicked him out of the house what will he do?what Piccolo will do? How will Gohan grow?.

Rated M for language, etc. There may be some SLASH I don't know.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, nor the characters, nor the song. Except the plot.

A/N: My first fic. I was a bit dissapointed because in the serie Gohan and Piccolo grew apart and Gohan became a nerd, so I made this.

Gohan was standing alone in the middle of the forest, staring at the ground, his clenched fists drawing blood, he stayed like this for two hours, his eyes were clouded with unshed tears of sorrow, despair, anger, guilt and so many emotions he cannot decribe he had nowhere to go, it was raining so hard but he didn't mind, in fact the rain seemed calm him down, washing away his problems, the only problem was th cold, it made him feel even more numb than he already felt. He could tell it was night. His mind recalling the earlier events. He still couldn't believe what happened.

_Keep knocking. _

_No one's there,_

_Pouring down. _

_Nothing is found_

FlashBack

Chichi started to act strange since they told of Goku's death, the new was devastating for everyone but especially for Goku's family.

Chihi no longer smiled, talked to her friends, and took all her fury attacks to Gohan. She kept Gohan locked in his room, all the things he did caused her irrational anger, she berated him for not study hard enough, she told him he was a rebel, every day reminding him the death of Goku, telling it was his fault and spoking about what would have happened if he had't died, always talking about how Gohan had ruined her life.

_I'm out here by myself_

_All alone _

_ready to blow my head off_

_It hurts so bad inside_

_I wish you could see the world trough my eyes _

_Each day it's the same_

_I just wanna laugh again _

Gohan alrady felt guilty about his father death, he was deppresed, more than anyone, he had lost his father, if he had killed Cell when he had the chance Goku would be here with him.

Every night he had nightmares with the terrible fight, and every night he saw Goku's death, listened his last words, in his head.

The first days he had locked himself in his room. He felt so empty. but the thought of his mother needing him had impulsed him to move on. He had to be strong, for his family, for his mother. So he tried to be there for his mother, he did all the things to help, the chores Goku did in the house He stopped trainig like his mother asked him, sudied twice the time he spent normally, hell, he did everything she told him, but it wasn't enough.

_Keep hoping._

_Nothing to spare._

_So my life._

_Isn't quite there._

_Feel like a whore._

_A dirty whore._

_Such a whore._

_Dirty._

A month after Goku's death she knew she was pregnant. It was a big surprise for them, Chichi started to get more animated, she was happy for the upcoming baby, it was the last gift from Goku, but she stopped talking to gohan or even looking at him, she acted like he didn't exist or like he was a anonying weight on her shoulders.

When Goku annunciated the Z fighters he didn't want to come back to the living, she exploded, she took the blame again in Gohan, she told him it was his fault, that he didn't forgave him. She couldn't stand it anymore, and finally kicked him out. She said she didn't want her baby to get influenced by that rebel good-for-nothing, murderer that was Gohan.

He felt so sad, desperate and angry

Angry with his father for leaving him to go training and with his mother for putting so much blame in his shoulders, frustrated because his eforts to be there for his mother were useless, sad because his father wasn't comming home, and his mother jus wanted to get rid of him.

End of Flashback

_I'm out here by myself_

_All alone _

_ready to blow my head off_

_It hurts so bad inside_

_I wish you could see the world trough my eyes _

_Each day it's the same_

_I just wanna laugh again _

Now here was , His dragon friend Icarus had disappeared six months ago, unsure what to do, and struggling to keep himself for crying.

'Crying ' He thought with self loathing.

Mister Piccolo would be disappointed at him if he looked him now. 'Crying is a sign of weaknes' a tight knot forming in his throat.

A tear escaped his eye and he cursed himself, and felt the urge to scream at the top of his lungs the wheight he was carrying, but it was impossible for the knot in his thorat wouldn't let him, so he bit his lip so hard, now blood was dripping from his chin.

_I Just wanna laugh again._

A/N: So what do you think, the song is Dirty by Korn. When I was writting the story this song appeared in my head, so i put it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gohan's POV

I can't believe this.

I feel like everything is a nightmare and soon I'll wake up and see my dad right beside me, telling me that's ok that he's killed Cell, and that we'll be fine. But I allready knew the thruth. There was no nightmare. But Cell died, and at what cost? my father's death. It was all my fault, it's always my fault, because I'm not strong enough, I'm slowing them down, or like this time, I let the opportunity pass.

I killed him, my dad is dead because of me, if I had acted when they told me, he'd been alive, and we'd go fishing. Now I've destroyed my life, my family. I know dad's disappointed of me, that's the reason he wouldn't come back, because I killed him, he must hate me, that's why he didn't want to come to life again.

Why they always had to die because of me? Mister Piccolo, Kuririn, and my dad.

I t's raining now, and I stopped. I've been walking for hours in the forest, It was dark. I remember bitterly how I used to be scared of the forest at night, but that was long ago. When my parents loved me, when there was no monsters to kill, or the world to save.

I feel another wave of hate tear me inside as I remember

It's been a day or two since my mother trow me out of the huse yelling that She hated me, and that she never wanted to see me again, she kicked me out of the family. I already knew that she hated me, despised me, she told me every day, since my dad's death, but it didn't stop that for hurting so much. I don't blame her, I'm a murderer. I tried so hard to please her, to make her feel like I'm not a total waste. I doubled my studies, I helped her to keep clean the house, I gave up training, I took her shopping, I took my dad's chores, and repared the things that didn't work. I did anything I could. But she still hated me. I put away my grief, and my feeling of desperation, sadness, and guilt to be there for her, I tried to be strong for her.

Dad, though, I admired him I knew he prefered trainig, and fighting powerful enemies that spend time with me and my mother. He said he wanted to stay dead so he could train more in the other world. Could he be that selfish? Or that's a excuse from comming back? Since I was little he prefered go trainig in the woods than play with me, he didn't like to train much with me either, since I'm not a worthy opponent. And my mother, would be even more disappointed if I told her that I didn't want to become a great scholar, as always made me think, she never asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up; she was alway pressuring me to study so hard, telling me that I was going to be left behind in my studies when I knew no normal kid my age had my academic level.

A little voice in my head advised me that with my dad dead or not dead, in the end the result wouldn't be much different, but the guilt sitll won't go away.

I never felt so helpless

Mother said I was a lost case, a murderer, that she didn't want to waste her money, time and love in me anymore, that I didn't desetve it., that I wasn't a part of her family anymore She didn't want me near to her baby when it's born.

My efforts didn't stopped her for trow me away.

Now I'm alone in my own.

So I walked ruthlessly for almos two days, since I didn't have a place to go.

I feel numb, so many emotions revolting inside of me.

I still can't believe this. My vision gets blurry and I didn't think it's because the rain.

I want to scream, and I wanna cry and destroy something, but that would be weakness, and it won't change anything. Besides Mister Piccolo hates weakness.

Mister Piccolo, I wonder if he would mind…. No! He must hate me too.

I felt a tight knot form in my throat, and my heart constricting. At the though of Mister Piccolo, disgusted by me. I always admired him, he's so strong, and cool, and smart, and he's the only friend I had,t he only who really caed about me. I wanted to be like him when I grow up.

Damn I feel a tear escape my eye and bit my tongue to suppress a sob. I must not cry.


End file.
